Committing to a relationship without communicating expectations is like accepting a role without a job description! How will you know how to effectively do your job?
At first, having these face-to-face conversations about expectations sounds transactional and like you are taking the bliss and spontaneity out of the relationship. In reality, it’s giving it more room for effective spontaneity and creating lasting bliss! One thing I know about men is they aim to please, but hate missing the mark. How can they make the mark, if they don’t know what they are aiming at?
If you are not familiar with the 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, you may want to buy the book and place it right next to your bible and daily devotional. It is a great resource on how to decipher the difference in personalities, expectations, love language and more. Take the quiz with your mate and you’ll be pleasantly surprised! Plus, you’ll have a better idea of how the other person is wired.
I discovered the hard way that people can’t read my mind! Ahh! I just assumed they knew what I liked or how I am. Unfortunately, not all relationships are created equal. Unless you’ve known the other person for “like forever”.. they are unable to read your mind and know exactly what you like. Communication is key and articulating your expectations in the relationship will make the ride a lot more enjoyable. The same goes for friendships.
“The scenic route is much more exciting and appealing when we have defined the destination.” – LadyDi