Hope: A Beautiful Expectation 

Hope is an exhilarating feeling of anticipation—a deep desire for something specific to happen that energizes us to wake up each day expectantly. It’s like the joy of a child on Christmas morning or, for me, the thrill of racing home to unbox my latest pair of shoes! Hope is a beautiful sensation when the expectation is met, and when we receive that for which we prayed. Especially when the dress we ordered fits or when a particular person calls!

What happens when what you’ve earnestly hoped for doesn’t happen? 

How do you feel when the desired outcome doesn’t materialize? 

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12 (NKJV) 

When hope is delayed or unfulfilled, it makes the heart sick and causes it to ache. That ache can manifest as sadness, discouragement, or even depression.  The intensity of disappointment often determines the depth of pain. This is why I always say:  “respect someone’s pain”.  You cannot measure the depth of another person’s sorrow because you don’t fully understand the level of their disappointment.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) 

Unfortunately, it is the least protected. Statements like, “My life is an open book” or “My heart is as big as Texas” might sound noble, but without boundaries, it is an open door for anything or anyone to hurt it with no regard. Disappointment creeps in when we mismanage our hopes. This isn’t to assign blame—rather, it’s a call to recognize that we must take responsibility for what we allow into our lives. 

Once something or someone has caused a sting, our inner posture should be one of protecting the heart God has healed and restored multiple times over! –  Can I get a loud amen? Guard your heart with goodness and Godliness. Let goodness and Godliness be the filters you use to determine what you allow.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8 (NIV) 

Anything contrary to these values should not have access to your heart. When in doubt, proceed with caution—or not at all. Trying to rationalize or justify something harmful is like changing the shade of a red flag. Red is red. Whether it’s ruby, garnet, or my favorite, burgundy red.  Regardless of the shimmer the red flag may come in, it is still a red flag, and it is your responsibility to guard your heart. You owe it to yourself! 

Hope Deferred: A Source of Heartache 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. It causes depression, anxiety, and deep sadness. The only anesthetic for heartache are prayer and time—contrary to popular belief, there’s no quick fix. 

Friend, it is your responsibility to guard your heart. It is your responsibility to wisely manage the things you hope for. 

If you know anything about me, you know I love shoes! I can’t hope to wear a gorgeous pair that are two sizes too small or too big. I can pull off a half size bigger, but not smaller. If I insist on squeezing into a smaller pair of shoes, it’s only a matter of time before the swelling causes immense pain. At that point, it no longer matters how gorgeous or expensive my designer shoes are—my feet simply aren’t going anywhere! It’s a simple analogy, for sure, but it’s loaded with truth.

Are you trying to “squeeze” into something that doesn’t fit your life? 

Have you settled for situations beneath your privilege or allowed things to linger when you knew they weren’t a good fit? 

Sadly, when it hits the expiration date, it spoils. It is just a matter of time when “that thing” will cause pain. When something is not meant to be in your life and you have surrendered your life to Christ, trust me when I say, HE will remove it. He loves you but He will not spare you the pain of delivering you from a toxic situation. Listen closely: Complete surrender is the anesthetic that “eases” the pain. However, there is no antidote for lack of surrender – just heartache and pain.

Guarding Your Heart

Friends, put a lock on the door of your heart and do not give the “code” to anyone who has not earned your trust. Much less, anyone who has broken it. That goes for every level of relationship; not limited to romantic relationships. Trust may be freely given at first, but once broken, it’s your responsibility to determine if it can be repaired. 

How many times do you want to run the same lap? 

How many times do you want to reopen the same wound? 

When dealing with someone who is heartbroken, resist the urge to trivialize their pain. It’s not your job to “fix” them or tell them to “just get over it.” Instead, listen with empathy and point them to the ultimate healer of the heart —Jesus. 

When someone has a heart attack, no one calls a mechanic or gardener. They call for a doctor. Similarly, those who are heartbroken need someone who understands their pain and can guide them to healing. 

Steps Toward Healing a Hurting Heart

1. Acknowledge the pain and respect it –

• What does it mean to respect the pain? Do not ignore its presence. Address it. Embrace it.
• Identify where it came from and ask yourself healing questions:    

• Is there anything I can do about this? If not, how can I embrace the healing process? 
• If you’ve lost a loved one, grieving and giving yourself time to heal is essential. If it’s the loss of a relationship, seek healthy hope rather than rushing into reconciliation for temporary relief. 

2. Surround yourself with genuine people –

• People who love you will comfort you with truth. They will not coddle your toxicity. They will wipe your tears, and allow you to purge, but will not allow you to retract.
• Choose your circle wisely when you are hurting. You run the risk of venting with whomever will listen, but sadly, not every friendly face is your friend.

3. Talk to Jesus –

• Prayer for heartache is a cry for comfort in the midst of pain. When our hearts are broken, whether from loss, disappointment, or deep sorrow, prayer becomes a way to release our anguish into the hands of a compassionate God. In these moments, words may feel inadequate, but even in silence, God hears the groans of our soul. Prayer for heartache is an invitation to lay our hurt before Jesus, trusting that He understands our pain more deeply than anyone else. It is an act of surrender, asking for His peace to replace the turmoil, His strength to carry us through, and His love to heal the wounds that feel too deep to mend.
• As we pray, we remind ourselves that God is near to the brokenhearted, and He promises to restore and renew, even in the darkest seasons. In the presence of Jesus, our heartache is met with grace, and we find the hope to heal and the courage to keep moving forward.

   “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3 (NIV) 

Friend, if any of this resonates with you, please know you’re not alone. Feel free to write me a note—I’d be honored to pray for you.