At the beginning of 2017, I found myself in a place of heartbreak, uncertainty, there was a void in my heart and soul – the inside of me was screaming for a change. I was uncertain of what exactly I was looking for, but I knew I had to make a change in my life. How I had been managing my life up to that point was clearly not working. I used to think that my life was in “perfect order” with the exception of two major components – My “career” and my “relationships.”
Someone once told me that I was like a hamster running on a spinning wheel and never advancing – which made me curious to know why?
- Why could I not find my “place.”
- Was I destined to FAIL?
There was always a struggle. I began to self-analyze and assess if maybe I was the problem.
- Am I not smart enough?
- Am I not competent enough?
- Am I not worthy enough?
I clearly struggled with self-esteem issues. I would blame the fact I did not have a degree, my upbringing, I blamed the “cards” of life that were handed to me, etc. I felt I was in a crossroads for the second time in my life. The first time was about six months before I decided to pull the plug from my marriage and file for divorce. The way I would imagine my life at the crossroads was sitting inside a vehicle on a stop sign facing two dirt roads (kind of like the dirt roads from a small town).
- Which road do I take?
- Do I go right?
- Do I go left?
- I didn’t know – so I sought help.
I saw a post promoting Let’s Talk Life with Diana Today, Life Coaching and I jumped on it! I decided to get a life coach to help me navigate what exactly was going on inside of me. I was currently unhappy with my job. I didn’t know why I had gone back to that exact job as I had worked there before and clearly it did not work-out and there I was. I thought it was my opportunity to prove I could do the job and maybe God wanted to teach me something; possibly mend some relationships. But the more I was in that environment, the more I felt inadequate and inferior… I felt stupid! My current employer certainly did not make things any easier. I questioned my capability of what jobs I could actually have where I would be successful. The list was not very long.
I began to pray and reconcile my relationship with God. I was pressing on God so much. More than I had in a very, very long time. God would wake me up every morning no matter what day it was at the same time and I would pray and talk to him in my living room as if I had him sitting next to me. I would cry, sometimes scream pleading for answers.
I began my sessions with my life coach and I remember being so inconsolable, lost, without direction and with so much questions and stress over how I would provide for my son and I. I knew my current job was not a good place for me. It was a ticking bomb ready to go off and I needed to find a way out. I was searching for other jobs, but no doors would open. I could not understand – why was I there?
I went on a trip to my absolute favorite place in the world – the beach. It is there that I feel closest to my creator. I had the most beautiful view of the ocean – it was a magical the time. My last day I walked up to the beach and I cried my eyes out, pleading to God. I DID NOT want to come back home! I DID NOT want to go back to my job! God PLEASE give me direction, I prayed. And this small, but I mean small, wave came towards my feet. I was certain that only my feet would get wet, well I was submerged in water! I had to run back to my room and quickly change clothes before my shuttle came to pick me up. Looking back – I now say God was baptizing me for the change that was coming my way…LOL
Weeks went by and I was still having my sessions with my life coach and she and I would dig deep to find out what the root of my unbelief came from. We were working on my self-esteem. I was still having my morning encounters with God and I was participating in a bible study. I felt God working in me. I knew God was doing something inside me, I knew that I knew I was being placed on the potter’s wheel.
On May 30th, late in the evening, I was applying to different jobs. Random jobs that I felt I could do when suddenly, I received a text from a dear friend who said, “You should open your own cleaning business and stop working for others.”
Now the thought of owning my own business was something I had thought about many years ago- but was shut down immediately. I chuckled – my response was “Yeah, right!? We’ll see.” And I went to bed shortly after.
I prayed that night and said “Lord, I have NO IDEA how to run a business, I have NO IDEA where to begin or what I’m supposed to do. You would have to grab me literally from my hand and walk me through step by step, because I don’t know where to begin. Help me to find my direction.”
The next day was a very emotional day for me. I have to add that God was speaking to me all the time. Every video I would watched on YouTube, every post I would read on social media – was a word from God talking to me about where I was that day. At one of my sessions with Diana, she asked me to watch a video called “The Jump” by Steve Harvey.
She asked the question, WHY NOT YOU??? Why can’t you have whatever your dream is? What makes you different from any other person sitting next to you? I had many excuses, but that video spoke greatly to me! I knew I was created for a purpose. I would ask God – what was the purpose of creating me and bringing me into this world? It can’t be that it was just to be a mother, which I love being. I am grateful, and I absolutely adore my boys but that was not the point. God there’s more to me than just what I have done thus far!!??? I shared the video with my friend who had suggested the cleaning business and I told my friend how I felt.
I said, “I know that I know God is birthing something inside me, I just don’t know what it is yet.”
My friend said some meaningful words to me that touched my heart. We agreed to meet for lunch and at the lunch table, my friend (which is a non-believer) drew up a business plan from A-Z… my eyes opened up so big, I could not believe God had just answered my prayer from the night before!!
Could this be the direction God was taking me to??? I immediately felt a fire in my belly and I called one of my best friends and I balled… I said, “OMG, God just answered my prayer from last night!!”
I then met with Diana and shared with her what happened. I looked at her and I said, could this be?? She said remember the video the JUMP. WHY NOT YOU??? God just gave you the business plan you asked for. SO I did it! I followed the plan that was given to me exactly as I was told and even the time frame that my friend suggested is EXACTLY how it all happened. God used a non-believer to prophecy over me! I started researching for a business name, I ordered business cards, I went to get myself registered with the county clerk’s office, etc.
Every time insecurity came in, God was quick to respond. My life changed!! I was being wowed by God in seeing how he was moving and how he was backing me up. Confirming and reconfirming this was my path to take.
On August 1, 2017, I launched my business “Maid to Shine” and became self-employed and have not stopped since! God has opened MANY doors. My business is thriving! It went from just being me and at times I would drag my youngest son with me to clean– now I have 3 part-time, plus myself. I probably have tripled my earnings from when I started. We are moving forward!
There is a scripture that God gave me right before I resigned from my job, Isaiah 41:10, “I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you. Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I am your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.” God has been so faithful! To GOD be all the Glory!!!!
So what is my purpose? To be the flashing arrow to direct anyone who is where I was and to let you know God is our HOPE. Don’t lose hope! If you can keep HOPE alive, it will keep you alive. HOPE has power!! Christ is our HOPE 😊
By Veronica DeLucio